Time to move in?

It's the end of August, which is about when, a year ago, I started to awaken from the fog of the initial trauma of completely destabilizing my life and transitioned into the slow burn of disappointment and dissatisfaction that characterized the following six to eight months. It was almost exactly a year ago that I had my couch delivered to me just moments before I ran out the door to the company ballpark picnic in Durham (which is tonight again) and then headed to Richmond the following day for my first visit with the Southern Lipchaks since moving.

In that year since pulling the shrink wrap off my couch, very little has changed here at 931-102 Washington Street (physically/aesthetically speaking, I mean). Same hooks and pictures on the walls. Same magnets on the fridge. Same obsolete electronics on the plywood thing I call my entertainment center... the place looks as unappreciated of a living space as it ever did. I could probably--couch accepted--pile everything I own back up into the same size truck I rented to bring it all down here. And do it as quickly as I moved it all in. My life here lacks a comfortable permanence or a permanent comfort...

I think it's time to resolve to stay here. There was always that chance--especially when I was laid off for a week back in April--that the new colony would not be a permanent one; call it Roanoke II. But now? Where could I go that would not be just as difficult (or more so) than staying here in Raleigh? I have a growing pool of friends thanks to the Y, volleyball, AIA, etc., and still see teaching at NCSU as a likely possibility in the future. People are starting to recognize my face (even if I haven't been so forward as to introduce myself by name). I'm starting to learn where "the scene" is and when to be in it and when to avoid it...

This apartment may not be--very likely won't be--a long term home, but it has to start getting appointed by things that make it homey and hold some meaning for me. When I finally do break down and invite friends over, I don't want them taken aback by the barrenness of the place and the consequent suspicion about the barrenness of my personality. The fact that I don't own the place shouldn't prevent me from making into my own.

Unrelated side note: grocery shopping is MUCH more fun when NC State students are back in town. Yes, more crowded, but crowded with good-looking youngins. I'll wait an extra few minutes in line if it means I can stare a little.