Anyone who has seen the movie Arachnaphobia or has spent any amount of time in the Carolinas will warn you about the spiders. Yes, spiders are ominpresent here. I've kinda gotten used to that. You can't walk to your car without dragging a web along on your head, and its former inhabitant as well if you aren't lucky. My condo community is essentially the underside of a deck extruded to three stories, so webs and spiders are just part of the aesthetic. I let the local arachnid populace babysit Fenway while I'm at work.
So, spiders I get. I'm not 100% comfortable with them in their large fuzzy redness, but no fang marks as yet. It's the bugs, though, that really creep me out. Not because they're all over, but because they're FUCKING HUGE. I was walking down the faux sidewalks of the local shopping center yesterday, bound for the local Bar & Grille for some end-of-week, stomach-twisting dinner and G&Ts, when I saw something the size and shape of an Insecticon Transformer (alas, not the right color) on the sidewalk. It was a moth. A moth so FUCKING HUGE its compound eyes were the size of dimes. I didn't get to see it's full wingspan, but it was definitely comparable to the small birds I'm used to from Cambridge. I decided to look away so as not to lose my appetite. It was a horror.
But, ok, a moth. Massachusetts has some big moths, too, if you're in the right place at the right time. Sure, they don't panhandle on the sidewalk up there, but I actually think this one was dead... most of the FUCKING HUGE bug creatures I see on the sidewalk are actually empty husks (maybe they molted and got FUCKING HUGER?). But today really brought home how this could effect little old me in a real way. Today, as I was about to make myself comfortable on my porch/patio for a morning crossword failure, I was visited by a FUCKING HUGE bee. Literally: two inches long at least, and 3/8 inch in diameter. And not like a big cuddly bumblebee either--a fierce looking full-fledged, run-away-from bee the size of a AAA battery (are AAAs the bigger ones, or AAs? because I'm talking about the bigger ones). Scare-the-fuck-y. Holy shit. If you're used to getting girlish around a normal bee, just imagine being buzzed by one that FUCKING HUGE.
So, in summary: if you are not a fan of bugs and spiders and such, North Carolina may not be for you. If, however, museum exhibits of prehistoric insect life make you all excited inside, come see the real deal down here in the Carolinas. I mean really, these things should be in zoos. Holy shit.
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3 comments:
AA are the bigger ones. I will wear chainmail when I visit. I'm about as girly as it gets with spiders and bugs.
I was just going to post about how girly Daddy is when it comes to bugs...but it seems he's outed himself already!
I lived in Asia between Mass. and NC so we had a lot of creepy crawlies there. But somehow it's different seeing bugs in your house when your rent is 1/12th what it is here.
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