Job 1:21

I am not a grateful enough person. I think this is because everything I do seems to require way too much effort--I am reminded of a Simpson's episode in which Homer is constructing a do-it-yourself backyard barbeque pit, which he screws up royally. In his cry of frustration he exclaims, "WHY MUST LIFE BE SO HARD?!!!" Everytime I do something, that's how I feel. Yes, those who know me, I see your eyes rolling. Yes, I'm smart. Yes, I went to Harvard. Yes, I am able to avoid failure most of the time. Yes, things are generally good--I don't live in a third world country, I am employable, I have skills, no major medical issues, but nothing seems to come easy or effortlessly. I feel like I work twice as hard as everyone else to stay at the same level of satisfaction.

Like I said, I am not a grateful enough person. I am not the kind of person who is thankful when the Lord giveth, but I definitely notice when the Lord taketh away. I should realize that the things the Lord taketh from me are pretty minor--like the use of a middle finger for a few weeks--but it's hard for me to appreciate the status quo. Who relishes the ability to type unencumbered by a splint? Who appreciates the luxury of having a job to return to every Monday that does better than pay the bills? Who lives in the moment of a kiss and remembers to savor the excitement? Who, having lost these things at one time or another, truly values these experiences and is grateful for them? Sadly, not me. And it disappoints me.

Part of growing up and growing old should be learning to appreciate the value of fleeting experiences, even those that are so common that they don't seem fleeting. How much better would life be if you truly appreciated those everyday things that just go your way without a thought? I need to grow up.